Thar Be Gold in Them Hills! *UPDATED*

...I have news....

Very recently, I found out that it is not a good idea to eat more than your fair share of Tic Tacs in one sitting. Even though the good people at Tic Tacs Incorporated put dozens of Tic Tacs in a single canister, they are not suggesting that you eat all of them at once. Rather, they wanted to create a convenient way for you to have multiple breath mints on hand, all the time, every time.

Unfortunately, I had to learn the true purpose of Tic Tacs the hard way.

See, I had been on a Tic Tac withdrawal for many, many months. Too many, it seems, because when I came across an unopened container of Tic Tacs on my counter a couple mornings ago, I was in unadulterated shock.

Me in awe of the glorious Tic Tacs

I grabbed the canister and stuffed it into my bag, but not before popping a few of the mints into my mouth as I headed out the door. I felt ready to face the world. Nothing could stop me. I had my freaking Tic Tacs and nothing could destroy me- I had fresh breath.This feeling of invincibility only fueled my excitement about the Tic Tacs, causing me to eat more and more of them, until I had downed 15  in under half an hour. 

That's when I started to feel sick. With so many Tic Tacs in my system, my body wasn't responding ideally. My stomach started to ache, shooting pain through my torso when I moved around. My feelings of power and joy from earlier in the morning vanished in an instant. Ironically, the Tic Tacs, which had made me feel pretty dang positive about life, were making my stomach cramp up.

This is where I got a little confused, because, as we all know, Tic Tacs don't amount to much. I think they're only about a calorie or two, at best. But when you mess with the Law of the Tic Tacs, they bite back hard. Basically what I'm saying is that if you eat more Tic Tacs than necessary, they will give you a tummy ache. Though, now as I think about it, my stomach ache may also have been induced by the lone pickle spear I'd eaten as breakfast this morning. Perhaps the pickle didn't agree with all of my Tic Tacs. 

The Tic Tac quakes in fear as the Pickle wields his deadly swatch-bucklin' sword.

My stomach ache eventually went away, but I learned my lesson. 

Also, you may be wondering why I titled this post 'Thar Be Gold in Them Hills!'. I couldn't get that phrase out of my head today, so I had to use it as my title today. Just think of this post as a Gold Mine of information. There. You're welcome. 

*UPDATE*

I was telling this story to a friend during school a  couple of days ago, being extremely overdramatic and silly. Apparently the sign language interpreter who was sitting in the room was tuning into my story as well, otherwise I don't think this dialogue would have taken place: 

Sign Language Interpreter: I can't help but ask; did this happen when you were a little girl?

Me: Uh... no.

My Friend: It happened last week!!! :D 

Sign Language Interpreter: ...Oh.

That's about what happened, and my face turned as red as a tomato. So, according to a Sign Language Interpreter, I have the decision making skills of a small child. Great.