Updatey Things

7/30/13

Just so you all know:

-Anonymous comments are no longer accepted.

-I will be moderating all comments submitted to this blog.

That's all!

Poetry That Isn't True

I accidentally took a photo of myself this morning

Or I took it last night. Can't remember.

Anyway I started writing a poem last night because I was feeling like shit and it's about stuff  I have never done (except for the 2nd stanza WHOOPS) and I probably will never do but hey I needed to get it out so tell me what you think

-

what if i got drunk then

woke up in the morning wearing nothing but

last night's make up and a cape made

by the arms of someone I call a friend

wrapped around my shoulders. then got out

of bed and smoked the last cigarrette from

the package with the golden trim,

my legs dangling off the bed and my back bent

like in a scene from a black and white movie.

i've never starved myself for looks,

if only just to feel a little bit more alive than usual.

but in my new reality I still have a

hole inside of me that I fill with fresh

hunger pangs and kiss their lips until

the hole goes away and is replaced

by something that tastes like peaches

with the skin left on. Soft and palatable

and making my taste buds wild until

juice dribbles down from my lips in lines

like the salt water that falls from my eyes

because i know that i will never have this life,

as ugly as it seems but some days i get tired

of trying to act perfect and pretending

like the shallow life i lead actually means something.

i want to let everyone down

and smash their high expectations.

allowing myself to finally feel something new

that wasn’t planned out since the day

i was brought into this world.

i came in crying with lungs like

tissue paper and i will go out likewise and

when i’m gone it will be my own fault

with no one to blame but me and the hole in my stomach.

-

...So that's that. Uhh I'm not anorexic I really hope this didn't lead you to believe that. I have symptoms of it according to my doctor but honestly I just don't feel like I really am. They probably would have taken more serious action by now if I was.

Anyway, hope y'all have a nice evening. 

Whoops I OC-ed Again

I am channeling Brittney Spears with my post title tonight, how fun.

This past week I joined an RP group and I had to create an OC and after much distress I finally made one! He's named Mark (because that's my favorite male name) and I was gonna write a spiel about him but why not just read his character bio I wrote a few days ago...

Your name is MARK KNABO, and you think you’re some hot shit. 

Upon first glance some might think you are an aloof jerk, but boy do you LOVE to talk. Especially if talking means you can make someone FLUSTERED. You have a tendency to pick on people you actually want to be FRIENDS with. You tend to creat NICKNAMES for people and use them whether they LIKE IT or NOT. You speak CASUALLY and often MASH your words together. 

You have a reputation for being the town BYCICLE from your home town. In high school you were voted MOST ATTRACTIVE BOY in the year book primarily because you were FUCKING THE EDITOR IN CHIEF. Which reminds you, you like getting on the GOOD SIDES of those in charge. Even if you do not particularly LIKE a teacher you will still SUCK UP to them anyway. Both literally and figuratively. 

You are not USUALLY a violent person, but when given the opportunity you’re ALL FOR IT. You have a love for being sneaky, though this becomes difficult because of your brightly colored clothing. Your favorite color is yellow and that is reflected plainly by your WARDDROBE. Yellow shirts, yellow belts, yellow socks. No yellow underwear yeah i kno what u thinkin. Your most prized posession is your YELLOW BLAZER. If anyone messes it up you are sworn by OATH to TEAR THEM TO SHREDS. 

You especially love messing with those two totally CLOSTED HOMOSEXUALS Charley and Owen. You may or may not want to be in either of their pants. Perhaps both. Maybe everyone’s pants. But that’s for later. You’ve got bigger fish to fry right now. 

It's written in the second person WHOOPS. The other character's I mentioned towards the end are some other people's OC's. Do YOU have any OC'S?

Nationals is in Under One Week!

Yes, another year means another trip to Indiana for baton twirling Nationals. I'm so excited! I'm going to the gym tonight with my friend Courtney to drill tricks. It's so much more fun practicing with a friend, yeah? :) I think I may start my worksheet a bit early this afternoon, since I can get all of my rolls practiced at home. It's just those spins that I need the high ceilings for ;D

Regionals was on Saturday and I think we did pretty well. Here is an awesome photo of me getting ready to juggle three batons. And look, I'm actually pulled up on my toes! It looks like all that practicing is finally paying off ;)

I write on other sites

I'm currently writing a JakeDirk fanfiction. I bet all of you are just so surprised. 

Anywho, it's called Grocery Boy and can be found on AO3. It's only two chapters as of write now (get it, write? hahaha i'm so goddamn funny.) LINKLINKLINK

It's a high school AU because I'm an emotional dork and SPOILER ALERT Jake and Dirk are gon be super gay for one another.

Comment if you like it! :)

either the cicadas have stopped their chirping, or i have stopped my listening.

i wrote this earlier tonight and it will probably be in a poem at some point. bad things happened tonight that filled me with an impression of melancholy and my brain is overflowing with thoughts that ache in my fingers yet i cannot bring myself to write them down because i don't want my brain to hurt much more, too. i'm listening to music that makes me feel like i'm living in an in-between state. I'm not happy, not sad, not living yet not dead.

Death surrounds me and it fills me with such emotion that there are no words for how to describe the pain. i want to cry but no tears have yet to streak my face. actually i take that back. immediately after i saw it i cried then stopped when my dad began to yell.

patches of blood and black covered her legs and nose. she looked dead but the flicker of her eyes alerted me she was still alive. patches of bugs eating living flesh of one i love. i do not want these pictures in my mind.  

Esperanto!

I was bored and looking for something to do, so I decided to finally buckle down and learn Esperanto! Ever heard of it? It was made up in the late 1800s by a Polish man who was disgruntled by the communication barriers that came from so many people speaking different tongues in one area. His solution was to make up his own language that could be learned by everyone for easier communication. In other words, we'd all have a common language! Esperanto isn't meant to take the place of all the beautiful languages that already exist, rather it is to aid international communication! What makes it even better is that it is non-gendered and THERE ARE NO IRREGULAR ANYTHINGS. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT. NO IRREGULAR VERBS OR PREPOSITIONS OR DIRECT OBJECTS. HOLLA. (not to mention there are no declensions. You can hear me and all the other Latin students of the world crying from happiness in the distance.)

I started my Esperanto adventure by going to the blog thelanguagecommunity.tumblr.com and looking through the Esperanto tag. (if you ever need ANY information about a language, I recommend this site. Has a wide list of language tags!!) I first found a website that taught me some grammar basics and essential words,  but the work was tedious and rather boring. So I hopped back onto thelanguagecommunity and found en.lernu.net. Like a shining beacon in the night, it has everything I could have ever hoped for in a language site. There are stories, reading & listening activities, and tutors on the site who you can choose from to literally check your work for you at the end of each unit! It's like heaven on earth for a language geek like me. Not to mention there's an instant messenger system available to all members where people can casually chat in Esperanto! Also the website in available in FORTY ONE LANGUAGES SAY WHAT.

I got such a metaphorical boner just writing this. You all NEED to visit the site. Maybe get an account and we can talk! :D

Gxis amikoj! :-)