FFFFFFF-riday

Yesterday was really good then really bad. Like, the last two hours of the day were really bad. I know I shouldn't stay up until midnight but I did anyway because I'm a rebel who makes decisions that fuck up her sleep pattern. So cool, I know.

Around 11:30 I checked my grades online because the quarter just started and teachers are putting preliminary grades in. I have a C+ in precalc and an F in physics. The C+ in precalc doesn't bother me that much because I'm always destined to be below average in math classes. But Physics?? I had an A last quarter, and now I have an F. We started our motion unit a few weeks ago. I don't understand it. When we took the motion pretest I scored a 5/22. A month later we took the mid term. I got a 9/22. So, an increase of 4 points?

I have Physics first mod today and I am just hoping that I don't cry. If I do, it'd be more from embarrassment than anything else. And last night when I checked my grades I was talking to someone online who I already am on edge with and I ended up taking out some of my negative emotions on him. And of course he said I wasn't being mean but I felt so awful. I still do. I feel like I'm constantly letting out negative emotions then trying to reconcile. I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect.

Happy Friday.

It's That Time of Year Again...

Click to Enlarge

Around this time last year I made this graph and posted it on my blog. And sure enough, this graph has proven to be accurate once again. I've started to do all of my math work in pen, and on the backsides of worksheets, and turning in assignments with only half-assed attempts at solving the problem. As a a matter of fact, earlier this week I turned in some quiz corrections to my teacher that I did on the back of my friend's World History worksheet. Mr.Long didn't say a thing about it, and something is telling me that this graph applies to him to. I think that's one of the reasons why I like him so much. Not only does he not care for Geometry, he's hilarious too. I once was the only one who laughed at one of his jokes and he like called me out on it, and it was actually just really ridiculous.

The only downside to my end of the year math routine is that I am probably going to fail my quiz today. 

This Isn't Happening.

GUYS.

I just may have gotten an A on my math quiz.

I think I'll find out the results on Monday. I'm scared/excited.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

Math Class Jerks

Since I have chosen not to be in an Honors math class this year, that means that I am in a class filled with juniors. Since I'm only a sophomore, it is a little bit frustrating having to deal with the lowest common denominator of the juniors. Most of them are huge, burly boys who obviously have some sort of inferiority complex. As far as I can tell, the main word in their vocabulary is "swagg". Perhaps they use it as some sort of mating call, and that is why they are constantly shouting it. We may never know.

Most days I can put up with these neanderthals, but today they took it too far. Every friday, we have "large group", which means that all the kids from my teacher's classes (so about 3 or 4 groups of classes) all sit in the auditorium at my school and we get lectured at about math. Large groups are unbearable as it is, but in the auditorium I was in there were spinning chairs so it was a thousand times worse. The scope of movement of the chairs is only about 180 degrees, so the kids like to lean back really far in the  chair and just swing from side to side. Since these chairs are so old, they squeak unbearably loudly.

Obviously, when you are sitting in a squeaky chair, you will respect your peers and not be an asshole and not make it purposely squeak, right? You would think this would be logical, but for about 5 of the dumbest juniors, they like to be jerks and ruin the class for everyone else. For weeks on end, every friday afternoon for 45 minutes, I get to listen to these boys squeak in their chairs, and then laugh as if it is the wittiest thing that has ever been done in the history of creation. They all do it, make eye contact, and giggle uncontrollably like 8 year old girls. I'm surprised no one peed themselves, because they were literally acting like children.

Today, I decided enough is enough. Since I sit right next to them, I said

"Hey, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop doing that."

I used my "I mean business voice", and after one of the boys apologized to me, I thought it was all over with. I was wrong. Apparently my request that they act like the 17 year olds they are made them upset. They started to squeak their chairs louder than ever, and they were seriously shitting themselves over how "funny" they were being. I was shooting all of them dirty looks, and then I started to hear:

"What made carrot top mad?"

As if they have no idea what is making me angry.

They repeated this question to each other over and over for the last few minutes of the period. Since I am a redhead, they decided that the best way to punish me for expecting them to be courteous was to take a low blow. I was so upset. Not that their comments about my hair bothered me, but the fact that they had the audacity to think that their torments would actually mean something. I'm certain that right now they're all patting themselves on the back, telling themselves and others how they really laid it on me. That is what is upsetting to me. The fact that they are probably proud of themselves and their actions is what hurts more than their childish words.

Don't believe what I'm saying? Allow me to provide an example of how full of themselves these boys are. Today as we were taking notes, my teacher was showing us an alternate way to solve a problem:

Teacher: "So, that is another way you can solve a matrix! Is anyone planning on doing it differently this evening?"

The Cretin: "YEAH, I'm gonna use a calculator!"

The Cretin turns to his friends for validation that he has done a job well done.

The Cretin : "That was a good one!" Cretin repeats this multiple times, certain that he has made a fool of the teacher for saying he would use a calculator, even though it was totally random and had nothing to do with what we're learning. He remained proud of his "wittiness" for the rest of class. 

See what I mean? This imbecile was freaking PROUD of himself for making a comment to the teacher in fromt of everyone, even though it was totally baseless and just made him look like an even bigger idiot than he already was. This is just another reason why I hate this boy and his friends.

Now, I am going to write an open letter to these half wits:

You idiots. Every day when I am forced to share a math class room with you, my hatred for you grows even more. All of you are the garden keepers who carefully tend to my hatred, providing the perfect environment so it'll grow up big and strong. Robert, I am not even going to leave out your name from this post because of how much anger you put into my day. You and your friends may think you're the clever ones, but when I am an adult who is successfully working in a job I enjoy, and you are the one who is working as a janitor, we'll see how cool it was to be an idiot in high school. 

GOOD RIDDANCE HONORS GEOMETRY!

GUYS THIS IS BIG. Today I had my last class of Honors Geometry EVER. I don't think it is fathomable how good it felt being able to walk out of that class room for the last time (Okay, I have to go back for finals tomorrow, but shoosh. I'm talking here). As I exited the room I had to resist the temptation to fling my books at the ground in triumph and prod my middle finger classroomward. It was hard, but I managed to walk out of there with at least a shred of dignity left in my pocket. I also had a few choice words in mind for my teacher, and I had my fingers poised to flip him the bird, but I wasn't really interested in spending my last Geometry class in the Dean's office. Rather, I spent it with Peyton and Lia, and we managed to enjoy ourselves quite a bit (I usually have a good time with them, but it was enhanced today by the lack of Geometry-ish-ness).

All we did in class today was sit and work on our review packets for the final. Since I had called Peyton last night and had her help me finish mine, I had nothing to do. As a matter of fact, I was even a little bit sour at the beginning of class, with the promise of a terribly hard final in my future. But Peyton managed to turn my frown upside down with a kickin' Sollux impersonation (Do people still say "kickin'"? I sure do). I could not stop laughing for the duration of the class period. Despite being reprimanded by my teacher for not working, I triumphantly showed him my completed review packet, and I am unsure whether he was surprised I actually did it or not. Don't get me wrong, I always did my homework, but my motivation to finish that packet was at about 0% all of last week. I believe I had made myself clear in that aspect.

Here is an easy-to-follow graph I constructed to help illustrate my point. Click the image to enlarge it.

Basically, I am done with Geometry, and it is one of the best feelings in my ENTIRE LIFE. All I want to do right now is to go to the edge of a cliff that looks out on to a great expanse and shout: 

BORN FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

That is how I feel right now: I am born free. After completing Honors Geometry I have been reborn into a new and humbled individual, who now knows how pointless the entire subject is in its entirety. I don't even want to think about taking Advanced Algebra next year. For now just let me sit in the sweet, sweet after birth. 

Edit 6/24/12: Why did I link Sollux's name to his wiki page. I literally have no memory of what my intention was with that one. 

WHOAAAAH

OKAY OKAY OKAY. I have news about that one math test that I didn't study for at all. Guess what?

...I DIDN'T FAIL!

Granted, I got a C, but that's not what's important right now. This morning I got on the internet to check my grades, and I flipped my lid when I saw that my overall math grade went up. What's most amazing is that I thought I failed... and I didn't! I'm sorry if none of you care about this, but despite my hatred of math I am feeling slightly less violent about math right now.

I hate math still, that's for certain, but at least I'm not failing Geometry anymore. 

Cut Class Not Frogs

I always thought that frog dissections were only things that happened on television. It never occurred to me that I might actually have to perform one at some point in my life. Unfortunately, my Biology class is on our dissection unit, and we have to dissect frogs. The smell in our classroom this entire week has been absolutely putrid. Just imagine the smell of hundreds of dead frogs mingled with preservative and shame.

The worst part is that we had to write our name along with our partner's names on a piece of tape and wrap it around one of the frog's legs so we could identify which is ours later. Each day that we're done working on our frogs we have to put them back into a Ziplock bag. I think this wouldn't be that bad if everyone didn't have to put all the frogs in the same bag. The sight of 15 dead frogs in a big plastic bag is just gut wrenching. There are so many frogs in the bag that it won't even close, and random frog limbs are poking out all over the place. What made it even worse was this morning (first period, no less), my teacher opened up a drawer and inside there were about 10 other bags filled with dead frogs. I nearly lost my breakfast. I don't know how many more days we're going to have to work on these frogs, but I hope to God that tomorrow is the last day.

I haven't actually had to touch the frog yet, which I am extremely thankful for. I chose two lab partners that were both extremely enthusiastic about dead amphibians, which has helped considerably in my mission to not lay a finger on the dead frog. One of them was gone this morning, leaving only me and my friend Ben. The problem today was that Ben jammed one of his thumbs and he has to have a brace-thing on his hand, so he couldn't use that hand to dissect. And since he was missing the use of one hand and my other partner was gone, I actually had to be an active participant in the dissection today. Of course today was the day that we had to make an incision on the frog's leg and then tear it's skin off. Don't ask me why we had to do that, because I have no answer except my Biology teacher made me. (Note: I still didn't touch it, I made Ben do it all because I'm a terrible person who gets squeamish too easily).

If we are truly done with the dissection tomorrow, I will be the happiest girl in the world. My only other worry at this point is if we're going to have to do a Lab Practical Exam, and do part of a dissection for a grade. If that's the case, I'm probably going to fail.

Unrelated Side Note: Still no news on my Geometry test. I'm getting scared now that it's still not graded. I go to Geometry next period so hopefully I'll find out my grade then, fingers crossed! :3

Today, In a Nutshell

Wow, two posts about Math hatred in two days, WOOOO!!!!!!!!

Today I took that math test I refused to study for last night. The teacher was gone today and we had a sub, so it's not in the grade book yet, but mark my words, I failed that little mofo.

The class I had after math was English large group. English large group is quite possibly one of the most pointless classes I have ever taken. What happens is me and about 150 other kids in English all have to go to my school's auditorium and act like we care about what we're learning. Don't get me wrong, I really like English class in general. But when you sit me in a room with over a hundred other kids who are bored and try to make me take notes, nothing good will come of it.

Today as I sat in my seat, still fuming about the test I'd just taken, an idea hit me. I flipped over my notes packet, and I started to construct a poem about math, and why it sucks and needs to go die but first be burned alive and impaled by a splintery rod. My friend Leah has been wanting me to write a poem about how much I hate math for awhile now,  and today my muse was finally ready to comply. Unfortunately the poem actually really sucks and I only have two stanzas done, but I sort of wanted to post it anyway. So, without further ado...

I hate math.

It's not hard to admit.

Everyday I go to class,

it makes my stomach sick.

Oceans of equations

get jumbled up in my mind.

When will I ever need to use this? 

It's simply a waste of time. 

I can't decide if I'm going to finish it or not. Any feedback/suggestions? I'm sorry to any of my readers who actually like math, but I thought it'd been established by this point that I have extremely violent feelings toward the subject. I really hope that my teacher grades my test tonight. Wouldn't it be something if I checked my grade and I got an A?! Yeah, that would be something, but I highly doubt it'll happen. I also just realized as I read over this post that I bash not only math in this post, but English class too. Geez, I really need to get my act together.

Wait! While I'm complaining about school, here's another class I can gripe about: Foods. I'm sorry if you're expecting another steamy story of me and my star-crossed suitor (who, for the record, is no longer my star-crossed suitor). But, what actually happened today was that me and my group members (All of whom are named Hannah. But that's a whole different story), had to make microwavable lasagna. Just think about that and I believe you can formulate your own opinion on how that product turned out. After we were done eating, I was washing some of our dishes in the sink. Everything was going fine until I tried to rinse off a pan and a bucket load of water splashed all over my jeans and feet. I pretended not to care, and then not a moment later I turned around and hit my head on a cabinet. I chuckled along with my group members, poking fun at my own clumsiness, but I was still pretty embarrassed. I managed to not do anything stupid for about a minute and a half, until I was walking to grab a paper towel and I slipped on some of the water that splashed out of the sink when I got wet. I was so off balance I had to grab onto the counter for support, and banged my left knee on a cupboard. By the time class had ended, I was a damp, battered, and bruised mess of a girl. Luckily I'm home now and I'm in a fresh pair of jeans. 

God, today was really something else. I hope you all had wonderful days, my lovely blog readers! Catch ya on the flip side, when I will hopefully have news about my math test (*gulp*). 

:)

I WANT MATH TO DIE

Guess how many other things I should be doing right now instead of writing this post?

1. Work on my Biology lab
2. Study for my math test tomorrow
3. Finish reading the third Percy Jackson book
4. Study for my math test tomorrow
5. Take my dog on her daily walk
6. STUDY FOR MY FREAKING MATH TEST TOMORROW

Most unfortunately, three out of the six pertain to math. More specifically, the test that I have coming up tomorrow. Today I got hit with a painful bag of bricks when I took a four question mini quiz in math that was supposed to help us gauge how well we'd do on the upcoming test (Note: the bag of bricks was not literal. Mostly just metaphorical and also a little bit figurative). In an interesting turn of events I managed to completely bomb every single question on the mini quiz. I wasn't even in the ballpark with my answers.

What is also concerning is before the test my friend Peyton told me one of the answers she'd found out from another friend. It "had to do with the sector problem". Considering my knowledge on what exactly a sector is, is extremely limited, I didn't even know what question to put that answer for. So instead of 1/4 I received 0/4. 

We graded the mini quizzes in class immediately after we took them. We switched papers with the person behind us, and our teacher told us the answers. When I got my paper back, I was not satisfied. In a moment of passion I ripped my paper in two and slammed it on my desk. Not a minute later I found out we'd have to be handing these mini quizzes in to our teacher. I looked at my friend sitting next to me, and pleadingly asked, 

"WHAT SHOULD I DO?!"

She proceeded to ask the teacher what would happen if you ripped your paper in half. He said that you would get an automatic zero. And me, being the idiot that I am, said,

"Well, I already got a zero anyway, so it doesn't even matter."

Big mistake. I felt like every single pair of eyes in the classroom turned to look at me. I could feel my face redden, and the tears forming in my eyes. I rested my head in my arms and tried to not act like a total fool for the rest of the class. I wasn't even able to manage that. As I looked back at my torn paper a few minutes later, I tore it up into even smaller chucks. I wasn't satisfied until the paper was so unsalvageable that I had to throw it in the garbage can. My teacher said nothing. 

Considering today's events, I probably really should study right now, but it seems that even when I do study, I still do poorly on my tests. Sometimes even worse than when I don't study. Since my track record with math has been less than satisfactory, I think I'm just going to have to call this one a draw.

Edit: Also this link because this is the other side of my emotions today besides indignation.
Edit #2: I found this while on tumblr tonight and this is pretty much what happens over summer break.

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