**9/3/13: This is pretty funny. The person I wrote about in this post I ended up dating. We're not anymore, so it's kind of interesting to see my reaction to them pre-dating**
Well, well, well, it would seem I am spending yet another open period at school sitting by myself in the library. For some reason the person who set up my schedule wanted to see me go through a large amount of emotional turmoil because I have NO friends in any of my opens. It's mind numbing sitting by myself for long periods of time, not to mention awkward. I usually just sort of chill and pretend like I'm too cool to care and that I'm not scared as hell.
You would have thought that I would have learned to deal with this by now, considering this is my second year of high school, but that is an incredibly wrong assumption. Even though I am a year older I am still as terrible at initiating conversation as ever. It's not that I don't like talking to people. I love it, really I do. The problem is approaching someone and saying "hello". I've grown accustomed to just talking to my friends and greeting them with a cheery "sup bitches" (even then, I only reserve this for people I know very well).
Right now I am plopped in the library at an individual study station (read: sitting at a desk facing a wall). There is a girl who I am acquainted with who is sitting no less than ten feet away from me, and I am too scared to approach her. Sure, I've sat with her before, mostly at social functions where our mutual friends would do the dirty work to keep the conversation going. I keep looking back to see if she notices who I am, but she's fixed on her computer, and she's sitting in an arm chair by herself so WHAT DO I DO? THE INNER CONFLICT IS ALREADY BUILDING UP.
I'm going to try and calm down and probably edit the shit out of this post then post it and by that point this moment in time will be long gone. I hope you, blog reader, have a ravishing day.
Well, well, well, it would seem I am spending yet another open period at school sitting by myself in the library. For some reason the person who set up my schedule wanted to see me go through a large amount of emotional turmoil because I have NO friends in any of my opens. It's mind numbing sitting by myself for long periods of time, not to mention awkward. I usually just sort of chill and pretend like I'm too cool to care and that I'm not scared as hell.
You would have thought that I would have learned to deal with this by now, considering this is my second year of high school, but that is an incredibly wrong assumption. Even though I am a year older I am still as terrible at initiating conversation as ever. It's not that I don't like talking to people. I love it, really I do. The problem is approaching someone and saying "hello". I've grown accustomed to just talking to my friends and greeting them with a cheery "sup bitches" (even then, I only reserve this for people I know very well).
Right now I am plopped in the library at an individual study station (read: sitting at a desk facing a wall). There is a girl who I am acquainted with who is sitting no less than ten feet away from me, and I am too scared to approach her. Sure, I've sat with her before, mostly at social functions where our mutual friends would do the dirty work to keep the conversation going. I keep looking back to see if she notices who I am, but she's fixed on her computer, and she's sitting in an arm chair by herself so WHAT DO I DO? THE INNER CONFLICT IS ALREADY BUILDING UP.
I'm going to try and calm down and probably edit the shit out of this post then post it and by that point this moment in time will be long gone. I hope you, blog reader, have a ravishing day.
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