I just feel like writing something right now...
I spent the past hour working on a beaded bracelet, and I realized that the string I cut was way too short, so I ended up taking it all apart to perhaps work on another day. I'm sad because what I actually finished looked quite nice.
Also, I have to swim tomorrow morning first period. I hate it, because I get cold and tired and I never really recover during the rest of the day. I would just sit out, but I've already sat out of probably more than five classes so far this semester. And thinking about having to swim just makes me sad.
I've been sad a lot more recently. It's kind of strange, because I was doing so well over the summer. I don't know if my anxiety is as bad as it was last year when I started blogging, but I think in some ways it has gotten worse. I get this weightless feeling when I'm at school, like I'm filled with air. It makes me very dizzy, and it's scary. When this happens my therapist wants me to "center myself", but it's hard to do because I usually can't breathe when it gets bad, and I just start to freak out. And I still haven't been able to eat much. Whenever I try to I just get nauseous. Come to think of it, not eating much probably contributes to the dizziness.
On the bright side, we're learning a new verb tense in Spanish class (present perfect). I'm really excited to be learning something new because we've spent the past 8 months or so working on the past tense, which gets old really fast. I love speaking Spanish, and I wish the class was faster paced.
If you actually read this post, here's a gold start for you:
Look how masculine it is.
EDIT: I decided to do a folder filter with this post as well because I haven't done one of those in over half a year.
I spent the past hour working on a beaded bracelet, and I realized that the string I cut was way too short, so I ended up taking it all apart to perhaps work on another day. I'm sad because what I actually finished looked quite nice.
Also, I have to swim tomorrow morning first period. I hate it, because I get cold and tired and I never really recover during the rest of the day. I would just sit out, but I've already sat out of probably more than five classes so far this semester. And thinking about having to swim just makes me sad.
I've been sad a lot more recently. It's kind of strange, because I was doing so well over the summer. I don't know if my anxiety is as bad as it was last year when I started blogging, but I think in some ways it has gotten worse. I get this weightless feeling when I'm at school, like I'm filled with air. It makes me very dizzy, and it's scary. When this happens my therapist wants me to "center myself", but it's hard to do because I usually can't breathe when it gets bad, and I just start to freak out. And I still haven't been able to eat much. Whenever I try to I just get nauseous. Come to think of it, not eating much probably contributes to the dizziness.
On the bright side, we're learning a new verb tense in Spanish class (present perfect). I'm really excited to be learning something new because we've spent the past 8 months or so working on the past tense, which gets old really fast. I love speaking Spanish, and I wish the class was faster paced.
If you actually read this post, here's a gold start for you:
Look how masculine it is.
EDIT: I decided to do a folder filter with this post as well because I haven't done one of those in over half a year.
I think I used this in a Spanish project once because it was really creepy looking.
This is probably one of my favorite lines from Homestuck, by far.*
*It comes in a close second behind "Boy I said make haste on the narrow catwalk!".
Hannah, I'm sorry you've been feeling down... I have been feeling a bit sad lately too. Or perhaps like I'm not really here. Like, a lot of the time I am an empty shell, without emotion, and I find it hard to get back into the groove of things. When this happens, I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think of one of my favorite quotes (I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. - Perks of Being a Wallflower) and it brings me back, but I come back a sad person. But being with my friends helps sometimes! So, I want you to know that I will always be here for you- whether to empathize with you or to try to make you feel just a little bit happier.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I really like that Homestuck quote, too.
Thanks for commenting, Jos :) I'm glad to know that I'm not alone with this feeling. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like an empty shell. Thanks for always being here for me, I hope I can do the same for you <>
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