Poetry That Isn't True

I accidentally took a photo of myself this morning

Or I took it last night. Can't remember.

Anyway I started writing a poem last night because I was feeling like shit and it's about stuff  I have never done (except for the 2nd stanza WHOOPS) and I probably will never do but hey I needed to get it out so tell me what you think

-

what if i got drunk then

woke up in the morning wearing nothing but

last night's make up and a cape made

by the arms of someone I call a friend

wrapped around my shoulders. then got out

of bed and smoked the last cigarrette from

the package with the golden trim,

my legs dangling off the bed and my back bent

like in a scene from a black and white movie.

i've never starved myself for looks,

if only just to feel a little bit more alive than usual.

but in my new reality I still have a

hole inside of me that I fill with fresh

hunger pangs and kiss their lips until

the hole goes away and is replaced

by something that tastes like peaches

with the skin left on. Soft and palatable

and making my taste buds wild until

juice dribbles down from my lips in lines

like the salt water that falls from my eyes

because i know that i will never have this life,

as ugly as it seems but some days i get tired

of trying to act perfect and pretending

like the shallow life i lead actually means something.

i want to let everyone down

and smash their high expectations.

allowing myself to finally feel something new

that wasn’t planned out since the day

i was brought into this world.

i came in crying with lungs like

tissue paper and i will go out likewise and

when i’m gone it will be my own fault

with no one to blame but me and the hole in my stomach.

-

...So that's that. Uhh I'm not anorexic I really hope this didn't lead you to believe that. I have symptoms of it according to my doctor but honestly I just don't feel like I really am. They probably would have taken more serious action by now if I was.

Anyway, hope y'all have a nice evening.